First off, I’d like to offer my sincere apology for disappearing so abruptly. At first, the time that passed after my last post seemed normal, seeing that sometimes a week or more elapsed between posts. Then as weeks became months, I realized that I had entered into a new relationship with my blog—one of neglect. At that point, so much time had gone by that I was embarrassed to pen an explanation. Partly, I felt that most of my readers had probably long since given up on me, so why bother?
In reality, I don’t really know who’s still reading. Therefore, I’m writing this final post for myself, for some closure; however, if I can give closure to any remaining loyal readers, so much the better. Perhaps I’ve always been writing primarily for myself. This blog has been a valuable tool for me, not just to vent and voice an opinion, but as an exercise in writing and self-expression. I began it on a lark after returning home from a failed adoption attempt in Ukraine in the fall of 2005, and it turned into a fun and stimulating outlet for me.
While that outlet became no less necessary in recent months, the time I had to devote to it became more and more scarce. Playing music, working, parenting, taking care of a home, having a social life all took me away from blogging. It’s not that I had less to say; just less time in which to say it.
It should come as no surprise that maintaining a good blog takes lots of work. Moreover, one cannot blog sporadically and hope to have anything resembling a solid readership. I tried to be as regular as I could and I am grateful for the readers that I had; but as much work and thought as I put in, I realized that I was never going to attain any degree of popularity or notoriety in the blogosphere. It’s not that I was shooting for that, not really. I mean, it’s great having an audience, but there are so many wonderfully insightful blogs out there, I began to wonder whether I really had all that much to add.
To be honest, though, my stopping wasn’t at all deliberate or planned; it came as a surprise to me. As I said above, before I knew it, weeks had gone by, and I found myself wondering why I’d stopped, just as others might too have been wondering what the hell had happened to me.
I will say that it’s probably no accident that my stopping coincided with my decision to return to school to complete my doctoral work. By early summer, I’d already begun to work things out with my former program (at a university here in Boston). It’s not that school and research took me away from blogging per se. As it is, I’ve yet to resume work on my dissertation with any regularity. However, the mere prospect of having a new outlet for my writing and an exciting new project on the horizon doubtless had an impact on my subconscious decision to stop blogging. That’s just a hunch, but I’m pretty sure there’s some truth there.
I will surely look back on my many posts and the comments they received years from now and have a wonderful snapshot of my life during a time of great transition for me, the transition to fatherhood. However, because the vast majority of my posts were not about my personal life, it will also serve as a record of my thoughts and actions during what arguably has been the most disastrous administration the United States has ever seen and how I, as a horrified liberal, managed to stay sane during the Bush years. At the very least, it will serve as a potent testimony to the Culture Wars, which I hope will be long over by the time anyone looks back on this blog from the distant future.
I’m certain that I will miss blogging. I already do. I will probably regret my decision to stop. Many times over the past few months I’ve thought about posting a picture or two from my summer travels; or a topic in the news would catch my eye and I’d find myself mentally penning a blog post. I felt, however, that if I couldn’t commit to regular posting, it really didn’t make sense to throw a random something out there just to have my say or get something off my chest. I have a husband and son who are happy to let me rant, provided I don’t prattle on too long.
Of course, it’s also possible that I’ll revive this blog again someday. It’s not likely to be in the near future, but who knows? For now, I am comfortable with saying a long overdue adieu and a most sincere and heartfelt