A piano should fall on all their heads.

There are so many losers in the world. Thank the gods that there’s no shortage of pianos.

I was originally going to devote this post to Bishop Joseph Devine, one of Scotland’s most senior Roman Catholic clerics. It seems that Devine is upset that Scotland’s first minister, Jack McConnell, has refused to debate the proposed Adoption Bill with the bishop on Premier Radio, the London-based Christian broadcaster. Read the full story here. If approved, the bill would grant unmarried partners and same-sex couples the same adoption rights enjoyed by married heterosexual couples.

“The simple truth is that the institutions of marriage and the family have not been well served by Scotland’s devolved government. It would appear that gay pressure groups have far more influence than the Christian churches in the corridors of power of the Scottish Parliament,” Devine said.

Obviously, what really has Devine’s vestments in a twist is not the lack of debate, but the bill itself and the possibility of adoption in Scotland by same-sex couples. As in Massachusetts, the Catholic Church in Scotland has already demanded the right to turn gay couples away from its adoption agencies. After all, the Catholic Church can’t just sit around while unwanted children are placed in stable, loving homes. Let’s face it, morality has never been the Catholic Church’s strongpoint. They should stick to what they know best; namely, producing homoerotic art.

But I digress. I would like to reserve four pianos for David and Tonia Parker and Joseph and Robin Wirthlin, the Lexington parents who have chosen to sue their town’s school system for teaching their children tolerance.

It seems that the Parkers and Wirthlins, whom the lawsuit identifies as devout Christians, objected to a second grade teacher’s classroom reading of King & King, which tells the story of two princes who fall in love with one another and get married. You’ll all remember Parker, who was jailed last year for refusing to leave school property when officials declined to exclude his 6-year-old son from a discussion of gay parents. Parker complained after his son brought home a “diversity book bag” with a book that depicted a gay family.

The Parkers and Wirthlins claim that because they were not notified in advance that King & King would be read and not given a chance to remove their children from the classroom, their First Amendment rights were violated. The parents believe that by “indoctrinating” their children about the acceptability of a “lifestyle” they deem immoral, the school interfered with their freedom of religion.

What is it with the people of Massachusetts who keep on insisting that they have a constitutional right to discriminate? I’d like to remind the Parkers and the Wirthlins that the public school system is not beholden to evangelical religion. It seems inevitable to me that the tenets of America’s civic religion, which (at least on paper) includes a commitment to equality and multiculturalism, will come into conflict with the dictates of evangelicalism, which tends to marginalize entire classes of people, like gays and those who listen to secular music.

People like the Parkers and the Wirthlins cannot expect the public school system to resolve that conflict in their favor. Despite what they claim in their lawsuit, their rights were not violated because the Lexington school system has refused to champion (or cave to) evangelicalism and its hate-filled, anti-gay agenda.